Pseudo-Poetry

Red Wheelbarrow

"The Red Wheelbarrow"

It's fair to say that I've had a low opinion of the great bulk of "modern" poets, whether amateur or professional, for many years now. I am speaking of the type that are characterised by their use of numerous, pointless, irritating line breaks. Their works may be found plastered all over the internet and throughout modern poetry anthologies. This is not to say that I believe that all poetry must rhyme or have strict rhythm, in fact you can find examples of my own in this compendium that do not, however, I believe there must be more than just a bunch of line feeds and some quirky, off-beat imagery.

It was when reading William Carlos Williams: "The Red Wheelbarrow" that I finally snapped. If you need proof positive that most "modern" poetry is garbage or that "bullshit baffles brains" then look no further. Only an industry that survives by perpetuating a lie in order to bring elitism to the yea-sayers to justify their academic salaries could laud such drivel to the skies. It is another case of The Emperors new clothes. "Masterpiece" my arse!



I also collaborated with James McComb and Udio to mash up various famous modern poems with "A Man Of Constant Sorrow" and a bluegrass backing to produce a glorious piece of irony called "The Gold Igloo".


I despise
all writers of modern pseudo-poetry,
who think
that simply by inserting
numerous line /
breaks
in strange places
into otherwise valueless prose
they have achieved
HIGH ART.

And also
they love to juxtapose
silly images
in a way
that makes no sense,
certain
in their deluded /
minds
that all such random stupidity
contains
DEEP WISDOM,
as though all monkeys
equipped with a typewriter
and
a spell checker
are instantly
Shakespeare's
equal.

I deem
all such lazy pretenders
to be
talentless and conceited
time-wasters
of the most contemptible /
order
and their
kooky output
fit only
for
the bin.

Their work
is
SHIT!


Warren Mars - April 2012